Tag Archives: Dating

The Perfect Date

Dating: an event which can even make a very confident person to lose his cool and act like a school kid. What to say, when to speak and when to just shut up and listen, where to go for the date, how to make it exciting and adventurous, how to impress the other, what to wear and many other similar questions haunts you at every hour of the day and by the time the blessed moment arrives you’re totally nervous.  Does the situation sound similar? Do all these remind you of your first date?

If yes and you have still got no answer to the million dollar question, “how to make your date a perfect one?”Let me tell you at the start there is no single set of rules which you need to follow to make your date a perfect one. The most important point to be kept in mind is that you should first get to know the other person, what does he/she likes, what is his idea of adventure, what is his idea of a perfect date, for someone it might be a candle light dinner in a posh restaurant but for some other it may be a pub or even an amusement park.

Respect the other’s wish and give it more importance than yours, it makes them feel special and lucky to have got a mate who is willing to sacrifice his preferences just for yours. You should choose a location very carefully, you need to make your date comfortable and the surroundings do play an important role.

Dress for the occasion: wearing shorts and a casual t-shirt for dinner in a restaurant is not a good idea, you might like those cool and comfortable shorts but keep in mind that you’re going out with a lady and should dress as per the occasion. Never make the other person feel embarrassed because of your poor dressing sense.

Always appear with a gift: you don’t need to buy an expensive one, just a bunch of flowers or some chocolates would do, but appearing with a small token of appreciation would surely earn you some brownie points.

Compliments and attention: Chris Rock, the famous comedian once said that any woman needs three things to survive oxygen, food and compliments. Well, this statement does has some truth. So make her feel comfortable and compliment her. Your compliments should never sound fake or too much stretced from the truth. Don’t just pay compliments like, you’re beautiful, tell her why is she so beautiful to you, tell her what do you specifically like about her but don’t overdo it, it may have the opposite effect. Every girl wants to feel special, tell her that she is different, try using adjectives like beautiful rather than hot or sexy.

As compliments are to girls similarly attention is to a guy. Listen to a guy, not just with your ears but with your expressions, your body language and actions. Be sympathetic.  Appreciate him for his efforts, say how much you liked it, and he would love it.

Talk a lot:  By talking a lot, I don’t mean mindless chatter or you telling your whole life history and the other one listening as if there is no other option. What I mean is be open, frank, don’t talk in monosyllables, try to include the other one. If your date is a bit shy and doesn’t speak much, start speaking and sharing, ask about his opinion so that he is bound to answer. Show interest and never be self absorbed.

Now you know, just put in that little extra and you can easily make your ordinary date an extraordinary one. The key is to make the other feel important and special. Let your special one know that you’re happy and there’s no place on earth you’d rather be than here.

Dating online? Exercise caution!

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
― Robert A Heinlein
Who in this world doesn’t want to love ? Doesn’t want to find a life partner who will stay by his side through thick and thin, who doesn’t want a fairytale romance ? Many of you while reading these lines might be lost in the thoughts of your special someone. Lucky guys ! But many wouldn’t have ever experienced the flying butteflies a lover experiences.Yes life today is very busy, fast paced and many don’t even have time for their own selves. In such scenariois finding a person to date has become exceedingly cumbersome for many. In such cases online dating sites come to the rescue of many.

Online dating services generally require a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search the service provider’s database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Online dating sites use market metaphor to properly match people up.[1] Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee.
But is India ready for such a major change ? In a country in which prospective partners are usually found by parents , are these online dating sites a welcome change ? People resort to such sites either for casual fun ,testing the waters or perhaps looking for the love of their life. Many people claim to have met their soulmates on such sites but on the flipside many others also usually find creeps ! When this method of dating was originally started, there was an air of desperation around it. People used to associate it with those who could not find a relationship in “real life “. Though much of this perception still remains , the number of people to use these sites has without a doubt increased. But all this not without the numerous questions and doubts it poses.
Some points put forward by those who advocate this method of finding love as something that might become atleast not frowned upon of not conventional

 

  • You can find the person that you have dreamed about, since you can find out everything about them before you even decide to approach them.
  • Location is not an issue anymore.
  • You can get to know someone without the commitment of actually getting together.
  • You can get to chose people with whom you would like to meet by checking their interests and profiles
  • The awkwardness of the first date is eliminated because you have already interacted

But as the other side of the coin always exists , we also have certain issues raised by people who believe that online dating is just a short term solution which can never help you find true love .

  1. Premature frankness- when you meet a person online who seems who have a similar viewpoint on things as you do and the moment the interaction starts,you believe that you both clicked ! this leads you to be very open and frank very early in a relationship . You might have experienced that it is very easy to text a person stuff which would have required a lot of nerves on your part to say face to face. Such premature acquaintance increases your vulnerability especially considering that the person you are chatting with might turn out to be a fraud !
  2. Lies-white or malicious,lies are definitely not a base you would want your relationship to be based on.You never know whom you are talking to, what age they are , or what gender they are . What they portray in their profile might not be the actual them. Just because what you wrote in your profile was all truth, it doesn’t(and why should it ) guarantee that the person you are talking to is also speaking the truth and not inventing stuff from the figment of his/her imagination! And by the time you realize the actuality, it might be too late ! so be careful and think before you start imagining someone as your prince charming or princess of dreams .
  3.  Are they bragging? – well even if a person is trying to be honest on a site , it isn’t necessary that what they are telling you isn’t just their own perception of themselves rather then what he/she actually appears to people. And there is nothing you can do to guard against that . The profile might describe a girl as “vivacious, independent, open-minded” but might end up as an air-headed brat when you first meet her. People create multiple online personas as a means to satisfy their urge to be someone they always wanted to be.
  4. Dishonesty ! – It is very easy to conceal one’s marital status online and when you find out the truth ,you have been cheated through and through .Many married men thinking that they are having just harmless fun resort to such sites and results have proved to be disastrous for many a damsel .
  5. Undermining relationships with friends and family- In any offline relationship, friends and family play a very important role as a support and guidance source. And help one know about the direction a relationship is heading and if its working out or not. On any online relationship ,you are the person sole responsible for your actions.

Whether all these problems quoted above strike a chord with your or not, there is no denying the fact that online relationships are to be undertaken with all care and realizing that all that one might see , might not be the truth. But isn’t the current generation so addicted to experimenting ? :p So go ahead , meet people but with all due care and precaution!

DateIITians – A new Buzz in the town

An IITians sounds like a person who would say, “I accept the terms and conditions” rather than “I do” on his weeding day. They are seen as an alien species who are far more interested in physics than in a silly chemical called “love”. True, this image might work in the marriage market where they are considered a good catch, having a secure future and a good salary but what about getting a date? Talk to them about dating and you would get them, “I wish” expression on their faces.

Dateiitians.com is specifically designed for these super humans who have much academic achievements to boast of but when it comes to subjects like love, dating, and marriage they are dumbstruck. The site was initially launched for techies and engineering professionals from IITs and IIMs but was later opened for all due to heavy demand. The website is the brainchild of the trio from IIT Kharagpur- Layak Singh, Kinshuk Bairagi and Nikhil Kaushik so it can well be said that the site is by the people who have “been there”.

Apart from the innovative concept the site is fresh and real. The opening page of the site might resemble to that of Facebook but as you probe further you will find that the contents and facilities offered are far more wide and different, it is not just a social networking website rather is a social-networking cum dating portal.

dateiitians

The effectiveness of the site lies in the fact that it caters to the demand of a very distinctive group who are much in need of help. Moreover, it is user friendly – simple to understand and easy to use. It is very clear about its target audience and targets youth from the premier colleges of India. It’s simple and yet sophisticated.

Special features: Browsing through, you’ll find some special features which add to the site’s appeal.

It is designed in such a way that you can be sure you are not wasting your pick up lines on a cute photograph while on the other end a bunch of guys are having a hearty laugh. The registration is a detailed process which involves verification and authentication of user’s credentials, personal email address, contact number as well as ID proofs. Only after submitting details, the user will get an email confirmation from the site and will receive a code on the mobile phone.  The process is bound to reduce fake profiles and increase your chances of GETTING A REAL DATE. Another attraction that the site holds is its three-step dating system which involves becoming buddies first and then flirting and the third is the step where you can go for a date.

The site offers other technical features like the facility to send messages to your buddy’s phone, purchasing real gifts from points earned while interacting as well as the option to go on virtual dates.

There are many free online dating sites out there but why is this one making a buzz? Well, it’s because of its uniqueness and “we care” attitude.  It’s not just about dating but rather about connecting, flirting and mingling with like-minded people. Its poles apart from matrimony sites and it would be ridiculous to compare the two. While the matrimony sites shout, marry, marry, marry, Dateiitians.com provides you with an option to make buddies, know each other, flirt and develop a true relationship to find your soul mate.

So let’s stop praying to cupid to strike when we have a more reliable and easier way to make the magic happen.

Why fall in love with a geek!

Remember the days when geeks were considered to be lousy lovers? Back to the present, the scene has changed.

Strangely now, being a geek is the in thing. Forget all those romantic movies where a geek is made a sacrificial lamb. It’s no longer the case. Girls today consider geeks as cool and great lovers too.

Here are reasons why you must fall in love with a geek

A geek’s first priority is you: You mean the world to him and he will go out of his way to prove that. If a geek has to choose between hanging out with friends and spending time with you, he would definitely choose the latter. They are loyal and expect the same from you too. And if you happen to marry him, then you have found a great husband and a doting father for your kid.

Geeks are romantic: We live in a techno-age where guys find it better to send e-cards than spend on real cards or roses. While most men find it too silly to leave love notes, a geek actually loves to do this to make an impression and make you feel important. A geek will make every effort to profess his love for you in the most romantic ways.

Geeks are brainy: A geek is immensely talented and never gives up when it comes to learning a skill. In fact, he will be the trouble shooter should your computer breakdown. Geeks are great problem solvers.

Geeks can be fun to be with: A geek would rather prefer to spend time playing video games and surfing the internet than going out. So there’s no way you will get bored with him. He’ll keep you occupied with several interesting activities. What’s more? You can learn from him too, he will only be too glad to teach.

Geeks are genuine: The psychology of geek goes something like ‘I am lucky enough to have found a girl’ and thus he wouldn’t want to risk cheating on you for the fear of losing you. A geek believes in long term relationships.

Geeks are sensitive: They are so loving, courteous and broad minded people that they wouldn’t hurt you. A person with a big heart, they are sensitive to your emotions.

Geeks are self-confident: A geek might be naive, but never once does he display lack of confidence or determination. Even though they don’t care much about their looks, theirintellectual competence does bother them. Also, urban dictionary defines geeks as “people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.” Hence, if you are dating a geek, you know he was a good catch!

[This article was originally published at The Times of India by Reshmi AR]